Ride report by Jerard

With the last event in the racing calender for 2008, team SPR was represented en force with a total of 18 riders: Brendan was the only knight in “A” grade, 13 of us in “B” grade and 4 in the “B” grade women. The forecast was for a scorcher with the maximum of 35 degrees, this was never going to be an easy stroll in the fields of wanneroo.

I drove up with the Bard “Le Kuan” who had traded his pink diary for his red R3 to enter in his first ever race. He was a bit apprehensive but I told him not to try his legendry sprints today and stick in the bunch as long as possible. We got there with an hour to spare, but Lorraine Fuentes was already waiting under the SPR tent she put up along with drinks and her famous EPO enriched chocolate brownies as well as her trainer!! This woman is serious.

Captain Pete could not make it, Kate went into labour with their second child  the night before. Ryan thought it was inconsiderate of her!

We put our SPR kit on and went for a warm up lap with master tactician Bjarn DeCastro: The plan was to watch any breakaways and keep 3-4 riders at the front of the group. If Ryan manages to go up the road, then we should try and hold the main group from chasing him. It all sounded reasonable, let’s see if we can execute.

We took off at 9:03, with a scheduled start at 9:05. (This really annoys me as Bjarn DeCastro and I once missed the start of the hills challenge for the same reason and had to chase the group for 40 Km before we caught them, we need to buy these organisers some swiss watches). With nearly 60 riders at the start, this was a big group and everyone’s adrenaline was flowing. I was told by my other SPR team mates that the course is “reasonably” flat with some undulations as they had done it earlier in the year or late last year, 8 laps of 9 Kms with a total distance of 72Kms. The start is downhill then it flattens followed by a left hand turn with a gentle hill to warm the legs up. Then comes a long flat part with a sharp Lt hand turn with a nasty hill immediately afterwards giving you no chance to prepare for it with zero momentum. The rest is flattish with an uphill finish of about 250 meters.

The goup stayed together for the first 2 laps with a fairly fast pace and I saw few SPR jerseys around me, they all looked confortable and riding well, am I the only one starting to feel the heat? Or are these cycling sunglasses hiding the pain underneath?. We lost Le Kuan after the second lap, he did one lap on his own and then decided ” bugger that, I’m staying in the shade”. John and Paul soon followed and we went past Chris “Chuck” Norris on the third lap who was sufering from leg cramps, his Tour was over. James gave him a pat on the back ( or was it on the bum?) as he went past. Now I’m not sure about the tactics in these races or whether it is merely a herding behaviour but after each left hand turn the front boys will accelerate and everyone follows suit then slow down, what was that all about?

By the end of the third lap, I was starting to hurt and had already gone through over half of my bidons, it was stinking hot and sweat was burning my eyes. Negative thoughts started to creep in: not halfway yet and I’m feeling flat, maybe I shouldn’t finish this race. I’m sure my wife will understand and my kids will still love me. As we went past the start/finish line, I saw Le Kuan under the shade with a drink in his hand, was that a Martini mate! Now in our 4th lap and tired legs were starting to wobble, no more adrenaline here or attacks on the hills, survival was the name of the game now. Riders started to drop off but we had all the remaining SPR boys towards the front of the group.

I think it was on the 4th lap that disaster struck. I was in the middle of the group when I heard the familiar

sound of carbon on tarmac and calls of “CRASH”, bikes were flying in the air as 4-5 riders hit the ground. I managed to avoid going over a rider only to realise it was Stuart, with Ryan lying on the road with his arms up protecting his head from incoming traffic. It all happened in a flash and I considered stopping but saw Judd and Ben go past so I chased them. Even if I stopped I don’t think I could be of any use, I’m only a urologist and I don’t think Ryan needed a urinary catheter then.

There were I think 3-4 riders who didn’t slow down and had a reasonable gap on the chasing group, a group that had Judd, Mike, Ben and I in it. Mark and James saw the crash a good opportunity to call it quits and joined the boys for some Martinis. I’m not sure when but we lost Judd soon after and 2 more riders dropped off too. Mike, Ben and I were rolling through with another rider who likes to tell others what to do and when to chase, needless to say that we dropped him after one lap. Mike also decided he had enough of this burning heat and joined the Martini party. Ben and I were left to ride by ourselves and we were in no medical condition to try and bridge the gap on the 4 riders or so up the road, I believe they were A graders who decided to come and play in the B grade.

2 laps to go and we were literally cooked. Ben told me he had nothing left, I shared his feelings. We did turns at the front but the heat was unbearable, where are all these water spraying basque suppporters when you need them? As we crossed the line for the last lap, the organiser told us 2 more laps to go, what the?? We also need to buy them some swiss calculators. I ran out of drinks on the last lap, I’m really an expert at that ( after riding Hautacam with no water!) and I tried to stick my tongue out to catch some water from nearby plantation sprinklers with no such luck. I started to cramp, probably from dehydration, but that was no stopping now,  5 Kms to go. We were then joined by a passing train with Dan who rode with us last sunday as well as Judd sitting nicely at the back, we quickly jumped in for some respite. Ben was acting like super domestique Jens Voigt and handed whatever drink he had left to Judd who happily accepted .

We passed Lorraine who was riding by herself way ahead of the rest of the B grade women, these brownies are definitely working. At 700 meters from the end, Ben attacked and I thought he went a bit too early, but he kept going and no one responded. Judd then took off after him and I stayed in front of the other 3 riders. I pushed on but kept looking back to make sure no one will try and pip Ben or Judd but everyone was stuffed and we were happy to roll through the finish in ( I think) 6,7 and 8 position.

We watched the A grade finish and I think Brendan managed 5th place, well done.

The day however belongs to Lorraine who not only looked after us all but managed to win her division in her maiden race. What a fantastic result for someone who was getting dropped badly on the saturday rides less than a year ago. These wind training sessions with Monsieur Fynn seem to be working ( with some EPO of course).

I was so dehydrated that day that I drank all afternoon and did not empty my bladder once, incredible. To top it all, I spent  the rest of the day in front of a 250 degree woodfired oven cooking Pizzas for my daughter and her 12 friends who came over for her birthday party.

Stuart went to Joondalup Hospital and went to theatre that night for debridement of a deep right elbow wound. No fractures but the wound needs to be dressed for the next few days. His R3 frame however is cracked and I believe his crankset and rear derailleurs are damaged too. We wish you a speedy recovery Stu.

Ryan has minor bruises and superficial cuts. He said he will be there on the thursday ride!!