over the past couple of months there has been quite a lot of discussion amongst the various ride groups. this discussion has been fairly positive and has allowed quite a bit of feedback to those running the groups and the club. the increase in discussion can really be attributed to the increase in attendance of the rides and therefore the traffic flowing through the website. by friday sometime, the site will crack the 100,000 visits mark which i never thought i would see. december averaged about 190 visits per day while january was 250 and february is on course for over 330 visits per day. more people means more opinions and therefore more discussion. hopefully, as long as we keep it positive, it translates to more people riding with us as well.
so going back a bit, the first lot of discussion centred around the novice group. basically they were getting too big with a wide spread of abilities. the formation of the transitional group seemed to solve that problem as well as start to bridge the gap between the novice and intermediate groups. from what i can see, both groups are now thriving and the transitionals seem to be making really good progress on group riding skills. to me, this is the most important group as it is crucial to learn the skills before your fitness out strips your ability and you find yourself hurtling down a road at 50km/hr not knowing what to do.
the novice group i see as being a vary transient group with people progressing through there and quickly onto the transitional. mark and carol are doing an excellent job in transferring the basic skills across to the new riders. sometimes there are quite fit, experienced riders that come along, but are there because they have never ridden in a group before. along with dr ronny’s transitional group, these two groups offer an entry point for the casual cyclists to take that step into a group or club environment.
the intermediate group was next to discuss the merits of the roll through. this, i think, came about after we totally seperated the advanced from the intermediate groups and the usual 2/3 fast – 1/3 main split that used to occur, suddenly changed around. last week there were over 40 riders in the intermediate group while the advanced would have had half of that. the discussions centred around how to effectively roll through and basically reiterated all the things that the transitional group were learning. i suppose from the transitionals point of view, it showed the importance of getting it right and knowing what to do.
with over 40 riders with a wide variety of abilities, the roll through broke down as some people were not strong enough to keep up while others were too strong and created gaps. last week they basically gave up on the roll through and reverted back to some fast sections and regroup points. much like the early novice group, i think it may be time to split the intermediate group up into 2 groups. currently i am not sure how to do this as it is always hard to tell someone that they are not fit enough to go with the faster group. hopefully this can be sorted out and we can get both groups rolling through again. often there are riders from the advanced group that either don’t feel like they need to be smashed or are coming back from fitness that end up with the intermediate group. sometimes i think that their influence may increase the speed a bit so that others are struggling to keep up. these two types of riders are the easy ones to separate. it is all the others in the middle that need to make a call as to where they think that they belong. also the only way this can work is for there to be people to step up and lead the group. you people know who you are so don’t be shy and help out the group. russell and nev do an excellent job in keeping that group together but if we split it, we will need another couple. there are usually people sweeping at the back of the group and are willing to help out that way. hopefully with a split, we will not need sweepers, but will need leaders.
the advanced group. where do i start. the discussion after last saturday’s ride was enlightening, but not totally surprising. some ground rules need to be set for that group or it just becomes totally chaos as was shown on saturday. i have deliberately stayed out of the comments on the website on this issue because i wanted to see where it went and what i saw disheartened me a bit. the discussion about lights and being “the fast group” and all was not unexpected and i take some responsibility for that as that is what it has developed into. it was always meant to be a hard hit out but i think that it has developed into a “last man standing” kind of ride where if you can break the group apart then you are the winner. now i am going to back nico on this point as he was right when he said that it is a group ride so you should ride hard, but as a group. now i am not saying that you must ride to the ability of the weakest rider, but if the group is split by the traffic lights early on in the ride, then why not ease up to allow the group to reform. after all, getting split at the lights does not prove that you are a better rider, just a luckier one. thank you jarrad for admitting that you may have made the wrong decision at the lights and could have pulled the group up. whilst everyone else was making excuses or blaming others, i commend you for taking responsibility for your actions.
now if riders get shelled during a faster roll through or hills then so be it as they maybe shouldn’t be in the advanced group (but there is nothing against trying) but the reason we should try to stay together as a group is for the safety of all the riders. there is no way that i would ride down canning hwy by myself as i think that it is too busy at the best of times. the safety in numbers and being only one group that cars need to pass as opposed to being spread over a kilometre, is what keeps us safe.
apart from safety is the club image to other people out there. the majority of riders are wearing the spr colours and by the looks of the latest order, people are more than happy to be seen as an spr rider. we are a club now and as such what you do as part of the ride reflects on the club. running red lights, sliding down between traffic at the lights, crossing lanes to start the sprint all upset the flow of traffic and make motorists more pissed off with us than they need to. even if you aren’t wearing the kit, if you are with the group then that is the kit that people will see the most of. don’t let the club image be tarnished by a silly split second decision.
so what to do now. well here are some ground rules for all the club training rides that we have listed plus some general ones as well.
- saturday novice – keep the course fairly similar with low traffic areas. concentrate on basic skills like where to position your bike to get a draft and the mechanics of rolling through.
- saturday transitional – different course each week to allow riders to experience varying road and traffic conditions. concentrate on rolling through and negotiating traffic interactions.
- saturday intermediate – either split into 2 groups based on fitness or allow faster sections with regroup points. must develop the roll through into the ride as skills need to be developed.
- saturday advanced – stick together for the first 15kms of the ride. the routes are generally 55kms so you still have 40kms to go hard. this is not a race. we are on open roads with lots of traffic so do not put yourself or others at risk.
- saturday all rides – the sprint point is the blue sign before victoria ave on riverside drive and the 60 sign after the brewery on mounts bay road.
- sunday all rides – always regroup to make sure we don’t leave anyone behind
- tuesday all rides – these are both easy rides and therefore should not be used as hard training sessions. be aware of the abilities of the weaker riders. if you need a harder session, head down the back of the group and help those that are struggling.
- thursday advanced – fast ride, but again without trying to smash the group apart. there are slower sections that should be used to allow dropped riders to rejoin the group.
- general comments
- always be aware of the size of the group and keep an eye out for what the riders at the back are doing.
- make sure you pass information up the line so those setting the pace know what is going on.
- stopping for a flat tyre is up to the group leader, but if you are near the rider who has flatted, then you should look out for them and stop to help. you know you would like someone to stop if you had a flat.
- red lights. do not run them. there is no excuse because you can see that they are yellow as you approach them. stop, but do it safely and let those behind you know that you are stopping. going around someone that is stopping is a big no no. if they can stop then so can you. breaches of this will mean that you will spend the following week helping dr ronny with the transitional group.
- if the group approaches traffic stopped at an itersection do not go around the cars but rather take up the lane behind the car. when the light change, if you have slid past the car, then they have to try to get back past you. this is unsafe and puts you are risk for no real benefit.
- sprinting at the end of the ride must only be done if it is safe to do so. do not go into the next lane if there are cars in it. you must wait till it is clear or you can find a gap in between other riders. you have just survived the last 50kms, why get cleaned up when you are so close to home.
you are part of a group which is part of a club. make sure your actions are for the good of the group that you are riding with as this will reflect on how the rest of the group sees you.
peter – president south perth cycle club
Ah Men Mr President.
It is truly great to see everyone growing into what is a great cycling family at SPR 🙂 Onward and upward.
Thanks Pete
I know you will have reflected long and hard on this 🙂
I’d also like to add that we have a very thorough RIDE ETIQUETTE guide on the blog… read it!
Well put and summarised Peter. It’s really great to see so much growth and interest in the club and I am sure everyone will appreciate and endorse your review of the above matters. 🙂
Having been in a couple of ‘accidents’ myself i can only back-up the safety points. we are one of the few sports where we are at some risk just training let alone racing. in fact i feel safer racing.
I’ll be interested to see what people say on this blog about the intermediate group options (splitting or re-grouping).
Personally i prefer to ride in a group of 20 rather than 40 so if numbers are there, maybe a quick head count and a split?.
It does however beg the question…how to split the group (diplomatically).
easier said than done? comments?
Peter,
Good summary, regarding the advanced group, the 15km ‘go’ point idea is an excellent idea.
Harking back a couple of weeks, i thought we had it quite well together (until everyone left me standing at the lights fixing my bike) with a sensible roll-through, which did end up shelling riders, but was certainly not at a ‘look at how fast i can go’ pace. The pace did eventually happen, but it was only with 20-odd km’s to go that the stronger guys really put big turns on the front, which i think is probably acceptable in anyone’s eyes.
Well said El Presidente. Re: Intermediates. Here’s my 2-bits worth…
How about having INT A & B. Same route but leave, say, 5 mins apart. The more experienced/stronger guys start first in A. If someone wants to try what’s it like but finds out he/she can’t handle it (be it pace or skill), then can fall back in the knowledge that the sweeper B group will be coming behind. What does everyone think about this? I agree that smaller groupings of about 20 would be easier to handle. Maybe the Intermediate B group can change name to “Super Transition”.
@Raphael: like it. 🙂
All sounds good… The staggered start sounds good, an idea which may work for Thurs ride (although this morning was alot smaller than last week (a few people saving their legs for Pembi) which is a good thing), ave dropped from 40km to 39km to raffles, alot more manageable..
For naming, I think the following is simple and diplomatic:
A (previously Advanced)
B1 (Previously Main)
B2 (previously main, now the slower main)
Transitional
Novice
maybe the A, B1 & B2 can do the same route. that any A riders can get swept up by B1, any B1 riders get swept up by B2. pure guinness 🙂
doh – sorry just repeated Raphael
Only problem with all the faster groups doing the same route is that the fastest (theoretically) group will be starting first and thus will get to the coffee shop a fair bit before the other groups.. No biggie, it may even help the staff and coffee times at ‘The Bell’, but would mean catch up time between individuals from the different groups would be cut down.
Great to see the discussion going. My thoughts:
Main group. Agree that smaller groups are safer / better. Group “A” and Group “B” doing same route, leaving 3/5 minutes apart sounds good. This also give people the chance to be up in the front and develop a bit more.
However, I think both should be equalish in terms of speed. Its just the same group, but split in to two due to numbers. This makes things equal for all and avoids having to decide which one to ride with. Slower riders should go out in the “early” group. If they get dropped, they can be picked up by “late” group. As a matter of fact, the “late” group should be the one that is slightly faster (if any), so that they get to the coffee shop around the same time.
Thursdays. Would love to have a “B” group on Thrusdays as well. I know I want to ride during the week and at the moment if for whatever reason I miss the Tuesday ride, the Thursday is just too fast for me.
@Ronan: sorry but i’m not voting for the B1 and B2 being the same speed – although i’m sure in reality there will not be too much difference. in practical terms if the intention is to allow people to ‘try a faster group on for size’ with the knowledge they can ‘slip on something more comfortable’ if needed, then it may encourage developement of riders slight better. either that or some wacky dressing/undressing… 🙂
And a couple more cents worth. Peter, thanks for letting the dicussion flow and people trying to work out what will work best – and then providing the leadership to bring it together with a club perspective.
For all group rides, safety of the group whether at lights, rolling through, sprinting at the finish or helping somebody fix a flat needs to be core to the ride. I always try to ride safe, but if the ‘red mist’ descends on me i expect my co-riders to be intolerant of that behaviour and tell me so. There are road rules and the club has a ride etiquette. If we are prepared to ride with SPR we must be prepared to ride by those requirements. They are there to help make us safe and the ride enjoyable.
Now i’ll get off my hobby horse. I would support the futher splitting of what has become the true main group if that makes for more enjoyable rides for everybody, although some feedback from last week seemed to be that the ride was better organised with pace sections, rolling off the front in pairs, sweepers, and semi-designated regathering points.
If we go to four groups, I like the names of Fast, Main 1, Main 2, (B1 and B2 sounds like an obsessions with Bananas in Pajamas) Transition and Novice as they best describe what the ride is about but will accept whatever the club whats to call them. If one of those were to be a ‘stronger’ Main group I would suggest it does leave a couple of mins behind the other main group and sweep up those who may drift off the back. Trouble is, most will put themselves, myself included, in the stronger group and we end up with one group again. There is no easy solution but it is worth trying different models to suit the situation. I guess we need to continue to adapt to the changing numbers and rider needs.
I have a solution! This is based on objective measurements, is scientific and reproducible. No point debating who goes where when no one really knows how good they really are! So, I propose we buy a power tap (it’ll probably cost about $10 each), stick it on an old bike, mount it on a wind/fluid trainer and every single SPR rider jumps on it once every 1-2 months.
Now depending on your “performance”, you get allocated a group that is applicable to your legs and not ego. Oh…and we should also run a simultaneous urine testing for performance enhancing drugs ( I can supply the kit, Ryan can do the tests!!)
I didn’t know Ryan’s taste has such discrimatory powers. RE: Russel’s comments. I was thinking the stronger of the Main to go first, so we don’t get in the situation where the 2 group end up together. If someone falls off the 1st Main group, then they are not strong enough (on that day) to keep up, and by natural selection, be swept up by the second group. By leaving a few minutes later, it will also allow a big enough gap so cars don’t get too pissed off (hopefully) having to negotiate 2 groups close together.
I thought groups cn be allocated using a points system on how PRO (credit CT) one looks. The fast group requiring 20 points for entry, main groups 15, transition group 10 and novice 5 points (we need some ‘standards’) based on the criteria below (these can be added to):
Bike frames: Alloy (0 pts), Steel (2 pts – retro cool), Ti (5 pts), Carbon (4 pts);
Shaved legs: 1 pt;
Heavy tan lines: 1 pt per shade of brown (note that orange is a sign of fakeness and results in -ve points);
Eyewear: Oakleys (1 pt), Rudy Project (3 pts), fashion sunnies (-2pts);
Bidon cages (bonus pts for carbon): 1 off (0 pts), 2 off (1 pt), None (5 pts, provided a friend has two bidons stuffed down his back for you)
Wheels: 1 point per 10mm of rim depth (carbon only), bonus points for tubulars, further bonus points for obscure alloy box-section tubulars handmade by a Belgian, in Belgium;
Chain marks on leg/novice tattoo: -3 pts;
Kit: Team (from a team one actually belongs to: 5 pts), Team kit (from Pro team (poser): -3 pts), Team kit (from obscure Euro team which you claim to have ridden for ‘back in the day’: 3 pts);
Shoe covers: -2 pts (c’mon, it’s a training ride);
Bike computer: Garminy thing (3 pts), little speedo units (-2 pts – they’re so last century), PowerTap (5 pts), SRM (6 pts), No computer: 2 pts (real hard-men ride on FEEL)
I hope you’re getting over that cold pete.
I’m getting a mental image of one very long smashed up SPR line stretching 10km up the road. God help the motorists stuck behind that. I think the majority of people want to ride as a group in the intermediate therefore we shouldn’t need groups behind sweeping up others; just a few riders doing this within the group, which is what Pete is trying to encourage . The idea is to keep groups together to make it safer not create a stampede where one group then tries to catch / stay away from the rest as would happen doing the same route.
Probably thinking just the 2 Main (Intermediate) groups doing the same route. The others (ie Advanced, Transitional & Novices) as per usual – ie different routes; just so you don’t get into that situation where one group is trying to chase each one down. If the stronger of the Main groups goes first, then in theory, the second group would not be considering chasing anyway (?). The Main 1 is kinda like a transition group between intermediate & advance, so the advanced guys needing a recovery ride can use that too.
RE: Jarad’s points system – What about points for obscure European frame brands? Negative points for Cervelos? Extra points for waxing (no pain no gain)? Chain tattoo is an automatic Novice, do not pass Go, do not collect $200. 20 points for single speed.
Good idea, perhaps just frame origin:
Made in Taiwan (0 pts), Made in non-descript European Country (3 pts), Made in US/Italy (4 pts – must be actually made in US/Italy), Made in Aussie (5 pts), Made in France (7 pts), bonus pts for obscurity. -3 pts for Giants (let’ all be honest with each other, it’s a Toyota).
I forgot: -2 pt for each steerer tube spacer (under the stem), -1 pt for each one on top of the stem.
Don’t tempt with the fixies, i can’t imagine the fun of having to set up an SPR fixie ride each week (send them up the hills, with their satchel bags and no brakes).
Jarrad – Carbon rims on a training ride? Irkda! You might as well tattoo “I’m not strong enough to keep up with you guys without $3000 rims” on your forehead;)
At risk of adding absolutely nothing to the debate but lazy humour and time wasting….I am sooo with Jarrad on the point system (although Jerry’s ‘PowerTap’ trials do appeal somewhat if nothing else but to see Ryan sitting outside the public loos collecting the samples!).
If we’re seriours though, we should start with the “Euro Rules ” that did the traps around the group about 18 mths ago (Jerry managed to ‘win’ on the presence of #39).
I’ll leave Jarrad to work out the weighting system integration program from his original posts.
The Euro Cyclist
1. Image and style shall be your primary concern. When suffering, one must focus first on maintaining a cool, even composure, and second on performance. Winning races is an added talent, and only counts if said euro cyclist wins with appropriate style.
2. You shall NEVER, under any circumstances, wear plain black spandex shorts or any team kit containing non-prominent Logo’s.
3. The Socks must extend no less than 2cm below the main bulge of your calf muscle, and shall never extend further than 1cm past the primary calf muscle bulge. All socks shall be white in colour with prominent logo placement.
4. Cycling shoes must be of white colour only!
-in certain circumstances, other colours, such as world
cup stripes are perfectly acceptable and encouraged.
-Red shoes are NOT ENDORSED by this group.
5. If white cycling shoes are not available where you reside, white booties with prominent logos shall always be worn.
6. You’re bike frame must contain more than 3 colours, and must always fit tastefully with your wheel selection.
7. Zipp’s are to be used as training wheels ONLY. You shall race only on Lightweights and occasionally Bora’s if no lightweights are accessible.
8. Ridiculously stylish eye wear is to be worn at all time without exception.
9. In most circumstances, hair shall be kept neatly short, and matching helmet shall be worn (again with prominent logo placement). Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES shall a clashing helmet colour be worn with your euro kit.
10. In several cases, it is deemed acceptable to have long hair. In this event, hair shall be neatly slicked back in maximum euro-styling, and helmet shall not be worn. Stylish sport eyewear shall be worn at all times while exercising this option.
11. A prominent line where your kit ends and where your tan begins is essential to your image. Artificial tanning is banned,
the tan shall reflect the level of training commitment.
12. All podium shots (pictures) shall be taken with the euro-rider wearing team kit and appropriately matching casual euro shoes (such as puma’s). Socks shall remain within the guidelines above. The rider is expected to display an appropriate degree of bulge while receiving kisses/trophy.
13. The seat shall ALWAYS be white along with the handlebar tape, and must be made in Italy or France.
– Exceptions to this rule are seats or handlebar tape
containing the following colours: WorldCup Stripes,
Olympic Gold, Italian flag colour combo (green red
white).
14. You shall not, under any circumstances, acknowledge the presence of a cyclist riding a bike costing less than $4000 USD in a public place. This could be severely detrimental to your image.
15. Legs will be SHAVED year-round. ABSOLUTELY NO EXCEPTIONS. In some cases, certain hair removal creams endorsed by succesful euro’s are deemed to be acceptable.
16. A rider will ALWAYS have liniment applied to his legs before appearing in public.
17. Facial hair will be restricted to a goatee, and even this is discouraged. Moustaches are EXPRESSLY PROHIBITED.
The only exception to the facial hair shall be SHORT sideburns–these are acceptable at the discretion of Cipo or a similar authority figure, on a case-by-case basis.
18. Ceramic bearings shall be used at all time on both training and race bikes.
19. Campagnolo shall be the only acceptable componentry and is hereby deemed superior to ANY Shimano product in ALL circumstances. You are expected to have nothing less than an ENTIRE campy grouppo. Crank substitutions are NOT permitted.
20. ALL wheels shall be equipped with tubulars, regardless of your ability in gluing them.
21. You shall NEVER, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE, associate with triathletes. It is FORBIDDEN to have any number inked onto your body before a race.
22. Any physical activity, other than cycling, is STRONGLY DISCOURAGED. This includes any form of running or swimming and their derivatives (this includes walking).
23. You shall never rearrange your package while riding. Adjustments regarding seating/hanging comfort are to be done in private in order to preserve image.
24. In a circumstance where any cyclist ever displays aggression or disrespect towards you, you shall ride up uncomfortably close to them and slap them in the face with your team issue gloves. (Which must be white)
25. MTB gloves are FORBIDDEN in all instances. Cycling gloves will be slick, white (in accordance with kit), and have minimal padding. Padding will be beige or white in colour. In the case where said euro cyclist is wearing a leader’s jersey (This should be always) special gloves will be made to match the colour of the jersey while blending the team kit colours simultaneously.
26. In the event a motorist disturbs your ride, you shall proceed to ride up beside the car, form a clenched fist and bang the trunk of the car while doing your best attempt to sound irritated in Italian. Wild arm/head are strongly encouraged to enhance the apparent rage.
27. Training is based solely on feel while racing is be guided by sensations and instinct. A real Euro cyclist never gives in to scientific training methods.
28. Gearing is restricted to a titanium Campy Record 11-23 cassette with a ABSOLUTE MINIMUM of 42-53 up front. One shall never be seen pedaling at a cadence over 90 in case it detracts from his calm/smooth factor. The use of 25t cog is acceptable in special training circumstances.
29. ALL BIKES shall feature personalized nameplates next to ones home country’s flag located on the top-tube within 10 cm seat-tube ON ONE SIDE ONLY.
30. Pedals MUST be either Speedplay, Time, or Look. No other pedals are to be considered and ANY form of Shimano product is STRICTLY FORBIDDEN. If one is found possessing Shimano pedals, title of euro cyclist will be stripped immediately.
31. Coffee is a necessity and as such must be consumed strong (ie. espresso) on a patio in Italy in full kit, it shall be drunk black. Sugar is STRONGLY FROWNED UPON. The only milk present shall appear frothed on top (if at all).
32. All pre and post-race activity will be conducted under a gazebo (this includes massage, interviews, and looking fantastic) leaving one in reasonable distance of the Euro-sun to top up your enviable tanlines or pose for photo’s.
33. Post-race, you must be utterly tied to your mobile phone, making endless calls to your incredibly attractive euro-girlfriend or important executives from modelling agencies. This will be done under the protection of the post race gazebo.
34. ABSOLUTELY NO FORM of seatbag, frame pump, mud guard or mirror shall come within 2 meters of the bike.
35. Team bikes will be built up so that they violate the UCI weight limit, in order that weights might be attached to the frame to demonstrate its superiority and lightness.
36. White bar tape shall be kept in pristine white condition and NEVER extend further than 3cm past the hoods (exception during spring classics, where standard bar tape wrapping is allowed). This state shall be achieved either through daily cleansing or frequent replacement. These jobs will NEVER be performed by the cyclist as you must maintain your image.
37. Motivational music during training MUST consist of Late 90s house and power ballads, or deep-trance hard-style German techno hereby known as euro beats. NO EXCEPTIONS.
38. Nothing short of a naked black ALL CARBON water bottle cages (manufactured by ELITE CAGES) will be used. The only exception is special edition 24k gold cages which can be preferable in some situations (such as photo shoots or prologues) where colour coordination is key (this is always). Ex. Gold Cage with Olympic Gold/white team kit.
39. A gold pendant on a very long, thin chain bearing some form of religious icon is STRONGLY recommended for mountain races.
40. While soloing in for a victory, you will ensure your jersey is fully zipped and straight, so all title sponsors are clearly visible. You will then smile and flex arms while pointing skywards. The projection of ones fatigue is EXPLICITLY FORBIDDEN in ALL CIRCUMSTANCES.
41. When appearing in a photo spread for sponsor’s products, one shall appear either fully nude or in full Armani 3 piece suits. Smiling is prohibited in these instances.
42. When riding, under the helmet, a team issue cycling cap (white in colour), shall be worn (depending on the hairstyle). The bill shall remain in the downward position at all times. Cycling cap can be worn forwards or backwards to coincide with current hairstyle. During spring training, cycling toques WILL be worn at all time in place of caps.
Jarrad – I will take that last tube spacer off. – You have demoted me to Novice!
Regarding the idea of sweepers and leaders, I thought it would probably important for other riders of the group to be able to identify them easily and as such, how about using fluorescent armband? Green for leader and Orange for sweeper. I am happy to offer my help as a leader or a sweeper for the intermediate group even though I could not guarantee my presence on every rides.
Brilliant. Lets ride.
I agree with what Toby said..
I think the timed idea is great and will work quite well – it also makes it easier for those choosing the route for the day (only 1 required instead of 3). I know I’ve lost some form lately, so aiming to work my way up the groups will help. I also think it’s a good idea that we don’t all get to the cafe at the same time – I’ve waited 15+ minutes to order on occasion.
By the way, the Euro Cyclist list has been updated recently. My favourite new one is #59:
59. The Euro Cyclist shall own a sizeable parrot and will ensure that he is seen walking around photo shoots with it perched either upon his casually outstretched index finger or upon his shoulder. Hair should be slicked back for maximal effect. The parrot should either be white or it should contain three (3) or more colors found within the World cup stripes. One must always smile when pictured with the parrot. The parrot should speak fluent Italian. In certain cases it is deemed advisable that the Euro Cyclist possess, in place of a parrot, SEVERAL young pumas.