Yanchep Cyclo Sportiff – Ride it like you stole it! *updated with photos*

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by Toby

Fronted up for my first Cyclo Sportiff on Sunday.  I was under the impression that sportiff’s were meant to be participation rides, where the aim of the game was to finish as a group and have a nice morning on the bike.  Well, that was not exactly true.  It turned out to be murder on the asphalt!

Our team – Ride it like you stole it – departed at 9:13 and immediately hit a strong headwind straight in the face.  It was strange, none of us had noticed the wind before the start, but as soon as we started rolling we certainly did.

Surrounded by Jason, Ainsy, Jonny, Jonno, John, Davin, Gordo and Carlos – full of fire and vitriol, or just ignorant of what lay ahead, we smashed the first few kms into the wind.  We caught our first team after 3 km, then another at 4km and another at 5km.  It wasn’t long before we had caught the EBT team and the other SPR team too.

However, the fast start would take its toll.  Carlos started to go backwards on the undulations and needed a helping hand to get over a couple.  Jonny started to lose conciousness on the hills too.  Dizzyness on the climbs is never a good thing.

We turned for home and with a brisk tail wind we powered along to close out our first lap.  Jonny dissapeared as we went roaring past the carpark at about 50km/hr.  Early day from him.  Only 10 km later we would lose our second rider for the day.  Jonno O’Grady Bolton got a flat and as we all quietly thanked the Lord for a quick repreive Carlos began to move a little gingerly.  Turns out he started to cramp severely and oculdnt even get his leg back over the bike.  We uncerimoniously stripped him of the timing tag and number and left him for dead on the side of the road.  He was for the birdman.*

So down to 7 riders we pushed on again through the headwind on the second lap.  It was such sweet relief to turn around into the tail wind that sighs of sweet relief probably floated on the stiff breeze to be heard at the finish line. Ahhhhhh..

With the winds on our back and the sun starting to warm us Jason and Ainsy set about lifting the tempo.  We motored along in the high 40’s all the way back to the turn around.   With about 20km to go I started to really hurt.  I was going as hard as I could, but I think I was only putting out about 80 watts.  This meant that I could sit on the group on the flats, tucked neatly out of the wind, but as soon as the road went up I was going backwards.  The shame of hands on the bum as we went over the hills felt like a heavy brick in the back pocket.  Without said hands gently pushing me though I would probably still be out there…

With about 15km to go one of the most unusal cycling Shleckanicals occurred.  I doubt I will see this again.  Just before the turnaround we noticed a strange rattle coming from Ainsy’s bike.  A few people suggested his saddle bag was loose.  As we crested a climb he stood up to stamp the pedals when disaster struck.  His seat fell straight off the bike and bounced down the road.  I will speak no more of what he had to endure to make it home.  But one can imagine… Poor Chris.

After all this.  We made it home.  7th fastest on the road with an average speed of 33km/hr.  It was a really tought day, but I think we all enjoyed ourselves and will be back for more for sure.

photos have arrived… but im waiting for a few more..

7 thoughts on “Yanchep Cyclo Sportiff – Ride it like you stole it! *updated with photos*”

  1. nice write up Toby – yes i too have experienced the ‘hand of god’ up a few hills.
    just watch out that a push does not become a ‘touch’.

    (this topic has been exhaustively explored in other posts – quite funny.)

    sounds like the moral of the story is not to self-destruct the team, while keeping it honest. not an easy thing to do sometimes especially when we cobble together teams who do not practice together that much.

    good effort though and look forward to the pics. 🙂

  2. “I was under the impression that sportif’s were meant to be participation rides” – nah… there’s a start, there’s a finish, and they time you in between, and as someone who shall remain anonymous once told me, “It’s always a race”.

    What was the verdict on the seatpost mechanical? I once managed to snap a seatpost bolt during a mountain bike race, losing part of the clamp in the process, and had to finish my lap with my saddle in my back pocket. Tried to borrow a seatpost/saddle from my teammates & competitors, but in the end had to finish my laps on someones else’s bike, that was too big for me. It was a 12hr race with teammates, pulling out was too soft of an option. Fun fun.

    Sounds like a tough ride into the headwind out there on the coast.

    good work fellas.

  4. Sorry for the early bail out and great effort by the team with all the set backs. In hindsight starting the event with flu was not a great idea but as you all know sometimes you feel better blasting the crap away and sometimes you feel……….well dizzy. Pretty annoyed as I was good Thurs but it came on quickly and I have taken the last two days off work.
    Next event is 19th September – Waroona. Supposed to a nice course though more undulating than this one. We will do better next time !!!!!!
    The team was put together at the last minute but next time we will blog it and see what interest we get.

  5. Great write up Toby, I had a ball. It was a great team to ride with and I will be keen for the next one if I am invited.

  6. Tooooobes, maybe you should have saved some energy and stopped shooting up to the front for a posey picture every time you spied the camera man .. don’t think we didn’t all notice – I’m surprised you didn’t have the make up lady in tow!

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