Oh yeah, York Cyclo Sportif, a casual participation event where teams casually ride around for 108km in the wind, rain and through the hills, a pretend TTT, if you will.
Well a pretend TTT needs a pretend Team, and the best predend team is the SPR Pretenders. We started with only 6 riders, as two people pulled out, however as Dave had ridden about 70km in the pouring rain, on fairly tough terrain to get to york, we probably had more like 5 & 1/2. Obviously in the spirit of the team, Dave predended to be fresh, and we told everyone who asked that the other two memebers were just in the toilet. But, lining up at the start was Myself (Iain, the non-ambiturner), Ryan fynn, Chris Ainsey, Jason ‘the cobra’, and Dave ‘cars are for chumps’.
Our team was number 40, off after 19 minutes and staight away we got into a good rhythm with everyone doing their bit on the front and then pulling off so the pace stayed steady and well above 40km/h. Because I’m so smart I hadn’t really warmed up before, so the first 20 or so km’s were not particularly pleasent. At around 25 km everyone was really getting into the pretender spirit, and Dave pretended to be really tired after his ride down and pulled off…Hilarious!
Turning left and towards the hills we lost the shelter of the trees, the rain began and the belgian points began to accumulate (perhaps Dutch points as well due to the blustery conditions). At this point we had already passed quite a few teams. One team tried to hop on the back of our train, so I told them to “SHOO!!” and they did. Coming to the bottom of the climb there were alot of teams clearly struggling, with stragglers, grinders, zig-zaggers and walkers a-plenty. Basically it was pretty easy to see here who had been doing their sunday hills ride, and who had just pretended to be training…remember people, if you over do it with your pretending, you will get fat and slow.
As we rolled into town for our seccond lap, the rain seemed to have stopped but there was still plenty of wind. Settling into our seccond lap, pretend suffering was clearly turning into actual suffering, but the team was still working really well together. We were the first team on the road when Jason got a flat, although we managed to change it fairly quickly, we had lost some time. Of course we pretended to be worried abour Broad catching us…by getting straight back into a good rythm and working hard.
The final 30km through the hills were really tough as it was pretty much impossible to get out of the wind. The team kept it tight and continued to work well to the finish. We were first across the line so fingers crossed we clocked the fastest time…if we don’t i’ll just tell everyone we did, because thats what pretenders do.
Cheers to the team for an awesome day on the bike. I hope that none of you read this blog and just pretend that you did.
Good work today guys, definitely a ride which will be remembered for a good time to come.
not sure who gets the churchill award for being softest on the day.. Jerard for texting saying his wife had hidden the keys as the weather was too bad. hmmmm princess a prince I think. we also had young jonno texting to say hedid not want to get rained on as he was a little under the weather and did not want to get worse.. hmmmm another princess but this one on an Oppy. Then we have Dave who chose to ride 70km to the start by himself in crazy weather but then to every ones amazement pulled out.. it turns out he is actually human. Hehas gone home to serve his penance on the wind trainer. He is very motivated to get proper fit and make amends, nit sure he should be invited to the next sportif as hewill punish one and all. But at least he made it to the start 🙂
It seems you’ve forgotten about the old guy (Very International MM) who did turn up and was hanging on to the collective back wheel for most of the way. I may forgive the insouciance of youth in time.
Iain, you were remiss in forgeting our own ageing (slightly older than I) international Male Model.. Out of all of us, he is the one who is least likely to be labelled a pretender.
MM, the young man will be dealt with appropriately in due course..
I was actually going with International Man of Mystery (thanks Jarrad) but I’ll quit while I’m ahead.
Well done on putting together the fastest time on the day and earning the yellow highlight in the results: to “beat” the Broadies by 3 minutes and have a puncture is a solid effort.
Mike, my most humble apologies!! How could I not mention your prowess on the uphill! Also WE WON!!
Team members dropping out, rain, headwind, hills, punctures, photos behind other teams….against all odds…congratulations Pretenders.
Well done boys on winning the “pretend” yellow jersey.
Good write up- and great work. I’d do it all again if I had too- the conditions where average to say the least but I would do it again…
Shame the only photos of us where of us overtaking another group which in turn had us blocked from the lense…
Great work guys! “Participating” faster than anyone else is pretty cool!
Hell… Just finishing was an achievement 😉