Training ride write-up by Jarrad – On The Road

Not to be confused with Jack Kerouac”s brilliant opus which shares the same name and whilst with that said, those familiar with the works of the great American novelist would certainly agree that he was quite the sartorial (and obviously literary) icon, never was he a man who would be tainted wth the moniker “Captain Poser”. In fact, i would think that if one was draw any similarities with the aforementioned patron of beat culture with any of the SPR crew, “El Presidente” Peter”s writing style (i.e. no caps) would be perhaps the nearest comparison, although i thought i was kind of treading a fine line with “El presidente”, i”d probably be just confusing everyone (including myself) with “El Kerouac”. Nevertheless, i”ll try and write this with consideration of the “spontaneous prose” style of writing for which Ol” Jacko was renowned for.

And so (note the complete lack of regard to proper english, SO Kerouac) we rolled off, through the green valleys of Como (i”m going to stop trying here) and down towards Risely at a nice lesiurely pace where discussions ranging from Ryan”s imbibements from the prior evening (i.e. too much booze = hangover), Daniel”s new hills-trained super legs through to pretty deep-section carbon wheels and the prettiest PRO cycling kit out there (Pozzato”s Italian champion Katusha well and truly taking first place there) all ensued. Moving on through Murdoch and onto the beginings of South st, no-one really budged, and the 25 or so riders were happy to remain in the two-up formation rolling along comfortably.

As anyone who”s studied history can attest to (and i did NOT study history), it usually takes a singularity, a nucleus for any significant event to occur, be it a war, or the uprise of a new political leadership. One can use the examples of the demolition of the World Trade Centre as the nucleus for the Afgan and Iraq wars, or the Reichstag Fire as the moment the Nazi”s truly came to power. Without at all exaggerating the matter, today a red light along South st was our Reichstag Fire. After a little confusion, the group, which had split into about three after this red light, began to re-assimilate and a few of the usual”s moved towards the front to begin a roll through.

The roll though worked quite well for the majority of South st, with most of the riders taking part, we all motored into the head wind quite well. A quick left and the long, straigh stretch to the bottom of the hills was upon us. Probably around half of the group now at this stage were beginning to look a little ragged, as the rolling at the front seemed a little more limited, and towards Madington, the Poser and newcomer (i think) Roger launched what some might say was a Boonen and Cancellara-esque escape  (others may have just called it rolling throught a little quickly), although after a few km”s of co-operation, a round-about and a set of traffic lights meant the two eschapee”s were swallowed up by what was now a  fairly depleted peloton, numbering 12 or so.

Further on towards the hills the peloton moved, the roll through at the front comprised The Flying Fynn (TFF), Poserboy, Ben (can casino online someone come up with a nickname?) and Roger, with the rest pretty much happy to sit in (hang on?). With the turn at Crystal Brook rd not too far away, Jason moved up to the front to set the tempo which, while well appreciated by all, was subsequently attacked by the Poser with about half a km to go (not too cool on the whole etiquette-meter).

A left at Crystal Brook rd and now it was all downhill (literally), and the group re-formed and begun rolling through again, with a fair push to try and get the green light at Roe Hwy (just to make sure those we spat out earlier wouldn”t catch). Unfortunately we still got caught up at the lights, but no extra riders joined us (i think). Now along Welshpool rd, we saw the tail end of the 2nd Main group, whom we caught and passed quite quickly, and had a smooth efficient roll through with pretty much each of the 10 or so riders taking part, which considering we”d done 40-odd kay”s was impressive given our track record.

Now pressing closer to the usual sprint, Ben (as usual), Roger, Jason Daniel and Nick C seemed to be pulling turns at the front as we headed towards Vic Park, with Ryan putting a few efforts in over the rises. Along the way we also seemed to chew up the transitional group as we moved through Vic Park.

Over the causeway, now the usual”s seemed to move towards the rear, happy to let “Diesel Ben” (better nickname required here) work on the front, with Joel (i hope i got the name right), Roger, Ainsy, and i think a few others do the work. As we exited off the bridge, Josh was the first to show his impatience, perhaps was hoping to get through the last set of lights, or even capitalise on  some confusion when passing a CRT bunch ride, both were negated by both a red light and road mod”s for the Red Bull airrace, which saw the sprint alley narrowed to a single lane. A the green, The Flying Fynn put it down, with Josh trying in vain to grasp onto his wheel. Jerard now made a strong appearance, and the Poser was now out of the saddle to chase down TFF, however, all progress was hampered by Truckosaurus, which comprehesively had us all beat in the sprint (i.e. single lane caught behind a truck), and so we rolled on through to coffee.

All up a fairly comfortable ride, which looked pretty quick on the speedo (despite my speedo not working. And especially with the tail wind. P.S. did anyone get a speed at the sprint? My GPS thingy says 70, which i”m surprised at given i was impeded by truckosaurus).

If anyone was wondering, i did deliberately title this “On the Road” just so i could show off my (fairly limited) knowledge of Jack Kerouac and as somewhat of a homage. To any readers who may actually have significant in-depth knowledge of his works, i do apologise, as the above could almost be construed as absolute rubbish. Also, if anyone is now thinking “Jack who?”, i also apologise….

Cpt Poser

Training ride write up by Jarrad

“If you’re going through hell, keep going”, – Winston Churchill…

The day began innocently enough, with a bit of a chill (definately not summer anymore) in the air, the recent order of arm warmers aplenty certainly put to good use. A group of thirty-odd rolled out from the car park and off onto our merry, or perhaps not so, way.

Riding down towards Canning, a nice social pace allowed for pkenty of indecent conversation, and along the way we ‘absorbed’, for lack of a better word another smallish group. Over the Leach Hwy and down towards Shelley, typically this is a little section of uninterrupted road which some people like to open it up a bit, and so, the usuals moved to the front to turn it up. I say usuals plural, but really, from what i could see (at about 2nd last wheel), it was Ryan, Neil from Plan B, and maybe one or two others trying to roll through now and then. I thought it best to give the poor guys a hand and came from the back of the group all the way up, thinking that a nice smooth roll-through shall follow my lead (I should say i’ll try and avoid writing this as self-centric as much as possible). I was wrong, and so the next few kilometers which followed were basically a strung out line, with (i counted) four of us doing (very) intermittent turns at the front, and certainly Neil probably consisting 50-odd% of the work.

A quick re-group, and everyone looked a little more ragged than ten minutes ago, we were off onto Leach Hwy, still with around 30-odd intact. This time we seemed to get the roll through working a little better, which did allow more ‘mingling’ amonst the group. It was during the roll through that one of the more shocking developments in the cycling world became apparent: Knicks with rear ‘ventilation’.

I’ll admit I don’t really understand alot of weird cycling traditions, and still cannot really satisfy myself as to why cyclists (including me) shave their legs (yes, i know, massage, road rash, i’ve heard them all), but coming from someone who dresses up in lycra, the majority of which is white even, i really cannot understand, why the h3ll anyone would ever devise a pair of knicks with a mesh ‘window’ about 3 inches below the crack propagation point.

Anyway, with that in my mind we kept a decent roll through going along Leach, at least for a while, until i noticed again the pace kind of increased, and fewer people were gettin’ involved.

“Not to worry, the rolling hills are here now, and the freeloaders won’t last.”

So the inclines begun, and both Neil and Ryan decided that gravity doesn’t matter to them and flew up the first few rollers, i didn’t seem to be capable of bending such principles of physics (to me they’re laws i obey), and it was about now that the hurt came on.

“Great. Now i’m a freeloader now too, well, i better hold that wheel so as not to annoy my fellow freeloaders.”

Gritting teeth and holding on, we ended up being caught at a set of lights. It was upon stopping i realised that ‘we’ had dropped everyone. ‘We’ being Ryan, Neil, freeloader/poseur 1 (me), and Poseur 2 (Jerard). All of that effort ‘we’ had just put in came to naught when a reduced rest-of-group came rolling up to the lights, and off on our painful, painful way we were again. A couple of small rollers more and we’re headed home along the Stirling Hwy, and after a few traffic lights, the group was back upto around 15 or 20-odd.

Left turn off the highway and time for more rollers through Mosman Park, woo-hoo. Another very limited roll through ensued (3 people), and time for the incline up to the water tower, which basically consisted of Ryan now, doing a rather good impression of a motorbike (again), and myself, and now even Neil, gritting teeth (or at least feigning grit-teeth) and hanging on behind up to the water tower, with Jerard and Jonny close back there too.

Back down the hill through Mosman Park and what started as thirty was now five, however it became clear to me that as we travelled the rise up towards Dalkeith, we were pushing along a fairly brisk pace (around 45kph-uphill), which wasn’t leaving the legs nice an limber for the rest of the short climb ahead. It was here that Ryan resumed his neglect for gravity and continued upwards, whist the rest of us did what we could with what was left. I was beginning to think about jumping off my bike, throwing it in the river and calling a cab at this point.

Stopping at the lights on Stirling Hwy again, the four of us (Neil, Jerard, Jonny and me) caught up with Ryan and picked up Peter, Daniel, and i think Jason and a couple more, who share a similar insouciance toward physics and warped space-time to be ahead of us. Now back to familiar territory, Neil seemed to have his action legs back and we motored along with a few sharing the work at the front.

After getting caught at the lights, the run home to the Old Brewery begun with a inverse roll through (which was actually the right way), which left Neil back on the front (as usual), from which he drove the pace up. With around 300-odd to go Ryan jumped from behind Neil, with the Poser jumping also, albeit a from couple of wheels back,  and the chase was on. Ryan took line honours from the Poser and Neil, although in Neil’s defence, he likely wasn’t aware of the finish point, didn’t particularly care too much, and did a h3ll of alot of work at the front.

To sum up, probably one of the hardest fast group rides in a while (although curiously, fairly slow on the old speedo), which i’m not even sure i enjoyed, but at least it was fairly safe.

Cpt Poser.

Ride report by Jarrad

I guess i should begin this with a quick note on the fact that the following may contain some (gross) exagerrations and grammatical errors (but it will contain capital letters), as it”s represents my limited outlet for “creative” writing, a skill which i”ve found to be not so important in the resources sector (the “Oscar Wilde” of engineering isn”t really a title which is coveted, probably for more than one reason).

Upon rolling up to Coode  St, with another impressive turnout were in attendance, el Presidente” threw the baton for “looking after” the Advanced Group to myself and Jonny, which i”ve also assumed to mean “do the write up”, and so we rolled out with around 25 or 30 riders behind the Intermediate group.

A few clicks in, Steve, Matty and Nico gave consideration to tomorrow (assumed racing/TT”ing or was it “Super Advanced solo time”?) and gave chase to the Inter group for a cruisier morning. Picking up brother Dan, or perhaps Backpack Dan along the way, we headed out towards Cannington. Jonny and i thought best to get the group to the turn off Nicholson and then roll through smoothly, which has been a bit of a hit and miss lately.

A right turn off Albany, and the roll through was smooth. Reggie”s (Julian) call for “38-40ish would do” turned into “45ish”, but with not too much wind, it seemed to be fairly smooth and inclusive for most. A right onto Bannister and i failed casino pa natet in my convincing Backpack Dan to do my grocerey shopping, but at least we were motoring along nice and smoothly, with the usual”s holding back the urge to put everyone on the red. Ryan and I discussed the “finer” points of a VO2 max test, including being orally violated with an oversized snorkel thing, wonderful.

Now rolling along South St, the roll through seemed quite smooth, with the infamous Muur de Karinya coming up quickly, i saw Ryan, Jonny and a few others moving towards the front, which didn”t really surprise me. From where i was sitting, it did look like Ryan was doing his impersonation of a motorbike and dragging a few up the Muur, however he was kind of breaking the group a bit, so i thought prudent to join the others and do my share of pacing the group. Over the crest and with Freo in sight, the roll through got a little more limited than previous, with Mike B, a regular whose name i should know, Jerard, and a couple of others putting a few turns in.

Hampered by traffic lights meant that the group absorbed some of those who didn”t like the inclines, and the turn at Fremantle we also picked up Pete, who managed to alter space-time and appear in front of us (or just took a short-cut). A bit of confusion at the route, and the depleted group of 12-15 or so were now heading in the opposite direction down Canning, with Cpt Poser, Jonny and Ryan taking extended turns, the Palmyraberg made a few sit in to conserve and hang on for the run-in home.

Pushing through Applecross and Como saw Jonny, Jerard, Mike B and Reggie do a fair share of work (and a particular poser decidedly absent from the clear air), with some accelerations from Ryan helping to stretch the legs. The group decidedly slowed at the turn onto teh causeway, with the Captain and el Presidente seeming to collude towards some end. Jonny and Jason took the early opportunity to break, but with a headwind, te group was content to let Peter “Super domestique Presidente” hammering himself at the front to get a good sprint finish in.

Then it was on, Ryan”s patience gave in and he jumped. Knowing perhaps their limits, the group seemed content to let Pete lead them in, but with around 2 kays (yes, 2 km”s), The Captain saw the group”s elastic to Ryan stretching and his domestique tiring from the sterling effort for the previous 3km”s and jumped too. Head down and outputting enough wattage to power a small hairdryer, the chase was on, but it was all for nothing, as the gap proved too great to bridge, Ryan taking honours huge gap in second and Poser taking third (or technically second). The rest of teh group following in.

All up a comfortable, but brisk ride, and no incidents.

“til next week,

Cpt Poser