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sunday 20th jan – patterson & canns & urch

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well today was going to be the hardest set of hills that we have planned. of course i could devise a total bastard of a course, but i do want some people to come back again. we had 18 starters this morning, as i actually remembered to count before we left. none of the usual climbers had turned up so i was a bit unsure how the ride would go. there were a couple of new boys along for the ride, so i thought i would wait to see how things developed.

the course today would take us down towards armadale and to the start of the brookton hwy. a quick turn before the big orange building (hardware or hire place) and we would take the first climb up patterson. down and then up canns rd before a really good decent along soldiers rd to pop out halfway up brookton hwy. cross over up peet and then urch which takes us to the top of the kahuna from a couple of weeks ago. the usual ride back towards kalamunda before the final climb up mundaring wier rd. all in all a pretty tough ride due to the severity of the climbs. it also meant that it would be fairly long as any ride we do down towards armadale will be around the +90km.

so we headed off along berwick and onto albany hwy. the predicted easterly winds were getting an early start and making it hard going, especailly once we got to gosnells and there was not as much cover alongside the road. a nice moderate pace was set, and people took turns on the front all the way to brookton hwy. it is about 25km to the first climb, so at a nice pace it gives you a good oppurtunity to have a chat. once onto brookton hwy we lost our first two as dr paul and dr ian decided they had nothing to prove and would ride straight up brookton then along to the coffee shop.

the wind was ripping off the hillside quite well which made the little section of brookton difficult. as we hadn’t even started the climb yet, i was starting to get a bit worried. we turned off and onto some suburban back roads which lead to the climb. now patterson is an absolute bitch of a climb. it would be less than a km, but i would say it averages about 15% with some steep pinches in the middle. it is so steep, but still has houses on either side of the road. i really can’t understand how half these people mow their lawn as even pushing one of them would be a challenge. i would recommend the flame thrower method of gardening.

anyway, the climb started and doesn’t rise that sharply. there is a left hand bend just after and you look up the road at at least another 500m of sharp climb, before it backs off a bit. i was at the front with one of the new guys. he had that whippet look about him, so i thought i would see how he goes. as ryan, stu & mike were not with us today, i was looking for someone to push me. this, however, is not the type of hill were you want to totally blow up as if you stop, it is really hard to get going again.

the new guy, turns out to be greg, who ryan had invited along. so even though ryan wasn’t there, he still sent someone to hurt me. well as the climb went skyward there was a loud ping/crunch from back in the main pack as nick had dropped his chain at the most inappropriate moment. as the climb progressed i started to fade and greg got a bit of a break. i just tried to maintain and keep ahead of the rest, but josie eventually caught and past me. i had a strange feeling. my inside elbows were feeling sore as i was pulling up so hard on the bars that my arms were fatiguing. i kept pushing as best i could and hit the top about 25m from josie and greg. jerry came in not far after me as he has been climbing well lately.

the remaining 12 riders followed in dribs and drabs as you would expect with a hill of this steepness. everyone agreed that it is a bitch of a climb but i think it was a good warm up. at least everything afterwards would seem easier.

a very short quick decent and we turned onto canns rd. this is a very moderate climb with only a few slight pinches that interrupt your rythmn. it is a good climb to really test your cardio endurance as you can hold a good pace and try to out run the others.

as the climb started and the pack started to spread out a bit i hear this car horn and look around. this white magna is trying to come around and has got impatient. he floors it to get around the guys then flys up past us missing me by about half a metre. there was nothing coming the other way so he didn’t need to do that. just another arse hole really. it did piss me off a bit so i actually chased to see if he turned off anywhere. all i ended up doing was gap greg, josie and darren, and left me on my own. i just ploughed on ahead not pushing too hard but enough to keep the gap.

we regrouped at churchman’s brook rd and continued on. the decent down soldiers rd is great for a mid ride reprieve. the top section is a bit rough but it soon turns to hotmix and widens out significantly. there is one tight-ish corner on the top rough section and scott got caught out there about a year ago. it is all left handers then a tight right hander by which time you build up quite a bit of speed. scott went in a bit hot and his front wheel folded underneath him. quite a lot of gravel rash and a taxi ride home for him that day. i didn’t want to go through that again.

so i lead the decent so that i could ease things up on the offending corner. but i guess as i have riden this way a lot, i have gotten used to the road a bit, so we stretched it out through the corners. once we hit the hotmix, it is all on. they have fixed a number of the bumps and you can easily get to 70 km/h just rolling. there are only a couple of corners where you may need to brush a bit of speed off, but over all the best part of the ride.

we lost a couple more as a mate of shao didn’t have quite a good decent on a full tri bike, so took it easy. they both had time commitments so we left them as they were going straight up brookton hwy.

we crossed over onto peet rd and began the next climb. unlike the other week, we were now doing the bottom half of peet rd then truning onto urch and continui
ng to climb. the bottom section is quite steep. it probably averages about 10% and you can really feel it. greg set a good pace so i decided to just hold his wheel to see how he went. we dropped the others and quite quickley put a big gap into them. by the time we reached urch, we could not see them further down the road.

slight reprieve at the start of urch as it headed back down slightly. the climb on the other side kicks up quite sharply, then flattens then up again and again. greg and i hit the climb and started to up the pace. once it got to the stage that we were standing on the climb, i deceided to see how far i could push him. i kept standing and pushed towards the top of the first pinch and managed to put a significant gap into him. i didn’t quite push into the red zone, but my heart rate was defientely in the 180’s and i was panting like a dog. i managed to keep the gap to the end and sat up when it flattened out before joining onto canning mills rd.

we regrouped on canning mills rd and we were lucky to have anyone with us as the rest of the pack got a bit confused on peet and wasn’t sure wether they had to turn onto urch. another pleasant surprise has been the waiting time at the top of climbs seemed to catch me out. i would be talking to someone and look up to see that everyone was ready to go. so off we went.

the trip across the top to the pickering brook intersection was relatively uneventful, with just a couple of small climbs to further weaken the climbing legs. another regroup and we lost another as josie turned off early as she didn’t need to do quite as many km’s today.

as we headed down past the carmel sanitarium school, the best sphincter tightening experieince happened to greg. on the little decent, where you can quite easily get to 70 km/h, he was hit with a slight cross wind and the whole bike started the speed wobbles. it’s not something you want to happen to you and if you have never had it before, it scares the crap out of you. he managed to get it under control, but i would say at the expense of a clean pair of knicks. i waited for him to make sure he was ok, and we made our way through bickley valley.

i deceided that i was now too far away from the front of the pack to push the pace on the final climb up mundaring weir rd. instead i waited for the back markers to make sure that they were ok. as we hit the bottom of the climb i put the power down and was going to see how many of the group i could catch before the top. heart rate well above 180, panting for oxygen, and legs screaming at me i managed to pass almost everyone on the lower slope and had jerry in sight by the time we hit the “flatter” section. he looked back at this point and saw me, but i was still a fair way back. whacking it into the big ring i pushed hard to gain as much ground as i could before the gradient increased again. by the time we were on the last pinch i had him well and truely within spitting distance. i was a bit afraid that i would max out trying to reach him, but dug deep regardless and pushed it into the 190’s and almost to the point of no return. however, i caught and past him about 10 m from the kom line on the road. he said he didn’t even hear me coming.

i was pretty much spend. it must look funny to the others at the coffee shop as we often look like crap when we arrive. sweat dripping everywhere, looks of pain or just that blank stare when the light has gone out inside.

dr paul and dr ian were waiting at coffee shop already so we pulled up a table and ordered. service was exceptional today and the coffee’s came out quick. probably trying to get rid of us before the brunch crowd gets in.

anyway, dr paul recounts their road wanker experience they encountered on the way to the coffee shop. on a very quiet back rd (near where greg had the wobbles), a guy in a car comes up beside paul and ian and starts abusing them for riding two abreast and making it hard for cars to get around. he is doing this while driving on the wrong side of the road. dr paul said that he was very polite, but he is also very sarcastic so i’m guessing he just told him where to go. people just hate us cause they can.

coffes’s down and back on the bike. another car deceides to try to take jerry out, by waiting till the last minute before pulling out of a side street. he had all the time in the world, but waited till it became dangerous. nice cruise down welshpool rd, but the wind was a bit funny and only got to 78 km/h or so. slowed down at the bottom so that simon could catch my wheel, then time trialed it to the lights at tonkin hwy. a last regoup and john told us that he had the wobbles on the decent. he had them really bad last year during a cyclo-sportif race so got rid of the giant to buy a pinerallo. he is a tall, solid guy, so unless he goes full custom, i don’t think it will make any difference. he managed to get the wobbles under control though, so no damage.

the last slog up welshpool was a pleasure with the tailwind and a couple of guys had a bit of at go to see how far they could get. as usual, dr melvyn was one of the main antagonisors. the final sprint to the coffee shop and i thought i would wait to see who would have a go. jerry decided to lead out early, but chistophe and myself managed to get on his wheel. right towards the end, christophe came around me so jerry started his sprint, i had the perfect lead out with these two side by side so managed to come past in the next lane.

as the remainder of the pack came into the car park, there was a noise like a bike skidding on gravel. we look around the corner, and dr marc had slid the bike out about 3m from the very end of the ride. no real damage besides a bit of skin, bar tape and pride.

sunday 13th jan – greenmount & parkerville & mundaring

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about 20 riders turned up this morning. i actually forgot to count but riding past the pack it may have been even more. anyway, i turned up at about 10 min to 7 this morning and the only other person there was chistophe. we were both a bit worried and thought we would be on our own. true to form, within that 10 minute window, everyone turned up. it is pretty much the same on saturday with most taking the “just in time” approach.

that was fine and we headed off along the great eastern hwy at a nice casual pace. the main antagonist from last week, ryan, had decided to race a crit today, so i knew i would be spared a complete whipping, but there definitely was a few guys in the group that would push me hard today.

the route would take us out to greenmount, through parkerville, across to mundaring, down past the weir and up to kalamunda. three main climbs but with a number of little “bonus” climbs along the way always make this on interesting. pretty uneventful ride out to the base of greenmount but we did manage to lose one rider. i hate losing people and try not to leave anyone behind, but dr paul took a phone call during the ride and seems he never made it back on the pack. he knew the way we were heading and knows most of the roads around here so i thought that he would be right. we picked up russell towards the bottom of the hills as he lived out that way, and it would save him a trip into south perth.

we have always gone the same way to get to greenmount but i will have to look at changing it as the last step takes us on a bit of bike path. it isn’t long, and was fine back when simon first showed me the route, but back then we only had ten riders on a good day. russell said there is a back way so i will have to check it out on the map before we head back to greenmount again.

the greenmount climb is fairly long and at a nice grade. not as steep as the kahuna from last week, but steep enough that it isn’t comfortable. it starts off shallow and slowly steepens but then kicks up once more just to shock the crap out of you. i think brett (not the collarbone one) was on the front once we started climbing, but soon slowed down too much so i went round to set a higher pace. i wasn’t really worried who was on my wheel but wanted to set a high enough tempo so that we could drop a few out the back. i was surprised, however, when michael b came around me at a fair pace.

michael has had some medical issues which meant that he can’t stress his heart too much or it goes a bit spastic. usually one climb at pace is all he said he can do. so i guessed that this was his climb. as ryan wasn’t here, i tried to stay with mike as long as i could, but he set a pace that was beyond me. last week i talked about stewart being an ex-marathon runner and was built like a whippet. well mike was an even better marathon runner in his day and is built like and even faster whippet. i just had to let him go as i was already pushing into my red zone.

a quick look around to see who i was left with revealed just stewart on my wheel, or more to the point, just coming around me. jerard was a bit further back but i was hoping we could keep ahead of him. stu and i swap turns as we chased mike, but by the time we got to the turn off, he still had about 100 metres on us. i was well into the 180 bpm for the entire climb and probably couldn’t have made up the extra distance without my breakfast paying me a visit.

as i turned at the top i noticed sharon waiting. she also lives up in the hills and had ridden to the top earlier to meet us. the rest of the field slowly made there way up to regroup and and have a drink as it was already starting to warm up. we lost another rider as dr greg decided to take a short cut and also find out where dr paul got to.

we had to jump over a gate to enter the john forrest national park as they close it every night to stop car hoons thinking that they are rally drivers. the roads are quite rough but the views are good looking across perth and later as the road winds along, some nice valleys. the road condition, slight rise in the road and headwind meant that the group spread out again. but not for long as we forgot about the other gate on the road and it took most of us by surprise as we rounded a corner. another jump and we were away again.

slight decent and michael w reminded us that you have to keep left as it is a public access road. about 30 sec later we are coming around a corner and a car is coming the other way. a couple of our riders were taking the racing line through the bend and had to swerve to get back on the correct side of the road and not end up as hood ornaments. bit more decent and we regrouped at the intersection of oxley rd. people had missed this turn last time we were here so i wanted to make sure this time. as i have said previously, sometimes i need to ride at the back to make sure we are all good, and sometimes i need to be at the front to make sure we are going the right way. luckily i was on the front at this point.

oxley rd is one of those “bonus” climbs that i mentioned earlier. it is quite steep in parts but not very long. probably about a km total. i paced myself up into the steeper sections trying to put some distance into the others, when mike came past at a rate of knots. i decided to try to stay with him and got out of the saddle and pushed hard. possibly a bit too hard and went into the red zone a bit. had drop my speed and just ease my way up as stu also came past me. towards the very top josie and markus also caught me and we cruised into parkerville for a quick stop at sam druckers general store.

josie is one of our “special” riders that likes to come out on sunday. special because she is not just a middle age could have been like the rest of us. last year she came back from the junior world championships with three gold medals and a world record time in the individual pursuit. as most of our riders are closer in years to retirement than the number of years she has been alive, we are happy to have her come out with us to smash us a bit. however, she is focusing on track nationals in february, so wasn’t hitting the hills hard.

josie turned off home after a second “bonus” climb out of parkerville and the rest of us headed towards mundaring. another regroup to make sure the kilometre that we had to ride on the semi-busy highway hadn’t claimed anyone, and we were off again.

mundaring to kalamunda is a pretty well used road for any cyclist in perth. it’s
hilly, low traffic usage and only one turn you have to remember. i would have to say that you could not ride on it without seeing a cyclist heading the other way. i don’t really know which direction is harder as both have two climbs, but climbing out of the weir heading towards kalamunda can really suck.

the group stayed together fairly well for most of the gentle downhill sections but there is one little kick up before the proper decent into the weir. we usually have someone have a crack to try to get a break, but looking around, no-one seemed to interested. so i went.

cresting the top i had a quick look around to see who was coming. a few had left the group but no-one was close enough to help me, so i kept going. there is a saying in triathlons “swim like there is no bike, ride like there is no run, and run like you have stolen something”. well i didn’t have to run so i was riding like i had stolen something. i thought that i might have to time trial the whole 20 km back to kalamunda, but jerry eventually caught up before we hit the round about. the group had split a bit and was strung out, so i hit it again on the main decent into the bottom of the weir. michael w caught me and we started the climb together.

the idea was to put as much distance between us and stu and mike so that they had to work harder on the climb to catch us. especially since mikes heart did not seem to be bothering him. i tried to set the hardest pace i could maintain up the main climb, and came around michael to force it. i think jerry may have been with us initially but dropped off as the climb continued. towards the very top, i noticed that mike had made contact with us but i wanted to keep the pace high so kept going. michael, mike and myself started doing turns to keep stu at bay and apparently he came within 20 metres of getting on the back before our combined pace got too high.

the second last climb before the decent and i turned the screws a bit harder and managed to drop michael. mike and i then kept pushing on the decent, but michael can go quite well downhill and managed to catch us at the bottom. he would say that it is the superior campag hubs he has, and maybe it is true. i need new wheels to keep away from him now. bit late for santa.

we started the final climb together but michael soon dropped off the back and i was only just holding onto mikes wheel. just before the “flat” section of the climb up to kalamunda, mike dropped me as my legs had just about had it. he waited up a bit, which is nice of him as i would have put the knife in at this point, and we hit the flatish bit hard. came past dr paul as the shortcut had paid off almost perfectly. once the road headed upwards for the final pinch, i was well and truly dropped by mike and eased my way up the rest of the climb.

at the very top i past a guy with his helmet strapped to his handle bars. now he was in full ride kit so was a proper cyclist and not just a mummy & daddy rider. so what the hell is that about. sure it was hot and i was sweating like a pig, but even the pro’s have to wear the lid on the final climb now. so in a word – wanker. at least his handle bars will be fine if he has a crash.

coffee shop was busy, but summer time and school holidays will always mean that we have to be happy with what we get. stu, mike and shao all decided against coffee to get some extra kms in. that always worries me as i am already having trouble keeping up with mike. after an extended break we were all fed and watered and headed off again. lost another as sharon lived nearby so decided to finish her coffee in peace.

as usual a fast decent which wasn’t too bad as there was no cross winds. dr greg scared the crap out of me flying past at least 10 km/h quicker if not more. i was already going 70 and like to have as much road to play with. stu was behind me and noticed that i was put off by dr greg as he said he saw my brown afterburner. anyway, managed to crack 83km/h but only at the very bottom in top gear pedalling at 133 rpm.

on the way home the usual suspects had a crack along welshpool rd and the group got split at the lights. i thought i would wait for the final sprint and managed to put a hard effort in on the last small rise with a big enough gap to keep the rest at bay till the end.

all up a good ride finishing as expected at about 90km. nothing of any note at bunnings this morning. must have just been that one particular day.

Sth Perth Sunday Ride 04 (Greenmount &amp Parkerville &amp Mundaring Weir)
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sunday 6th jan – kahuna & peet & patterson

well another glorious summer morning awaited us today. with an expected top of 34 deg the morning ride was going to be not too hot, not too cold but just right. and lucky too, as today we were going up the longest, steep climb that we know off close to perth. there are longer climbs and there are steeper climbs but this is the “best” of both worlds.
perth really lacks serious mountains. we have hills. so to make up for the patheticness of our climbs, i usually plan a route that has multiple climbs (see below). today we had four main climbs that would give us about 1,000m of vertical ascent in total.
but i am getting ahead of myself. had the normal turn out today. about 15 riders and mostly the regulars. a couple of newbies rocked up but decided against it as they needed to be back by 10am. maybe next time. severe lack or estrogen today as our regular girls are over east competing in the bay cycle classic. 7 o’clock came and we still had people turning up. i guess the benefit of posting the route beforehand is that people know where we have gone. we had to wait, however, for dr melvyn. he was running a bit late and had phoned ahead to say he was still coming. no hurry, so we waited for him and then took off.
as we said that we had to wait for him, we told him that he had to do all the work on the front for the next 20km. for some reason he took us seriously and sat on the front until carousel shopping centre when i told him we were joking. he looked very relieved as he peeled off the front.
the thing that make this sunday ride enjoyable is that we generally don’t race to the hills. there is no rolling through and people just do a bit of time at the front then drop to the back. this allows the rest of us to have a pleasant conversation on the way out, as you know once we hit the hills there is no time for talking.
bit windy heading out to the base of the hills and just before we started the climb, the wind coming down from the escarpment was so strong it felt like we were going backwards.
our climbing etiquette is pretty much as follows; go as hard as you can and try to hurt as many people as you can but make sure you wait at the top of the hill for everyone to catch up. we can then all ride together to the start of the next hill.
so the kahuna (named for two reasons 1. the cohunu koala park is located half way up 2. as it is a big climb, it is the big kahuna) is just under 4km long at an average of just over 7%. nothing compared to climbs in europe but the best we have here. so the climb started well. our groups strong man, ryan set a nice pace early on keeping his bike in a relatively hard gear. the pack splintered as expected and everyone generally went there own pace.
i have decided that going my own pace will not help me improve, so i try to go ryan’s pace for as long as i can then blow up spectacularly. he eventually dropped me and i was caught by stewart. now stew is an ex triathlete and ex marathon runner so he is like a whippet on the bike. he is currently trying to get some form back after an injury, but used to completely spank us on the hills. i tried to stay with him as long as possible but eventually cracked again. i eased my way up the rest of the steeper section before tying again to catch them once i regained composure and the gradient reduced. no luck and they were +50m ahead of me once they hit the top.
i then rolled back down a bit to get a couple of shots of the boys in full flight coming up the last of the climb.
our next climb took us to part of the state road championship course in roleystone. this is an absolute bitch of a course as it is very hilly and contains not flat sections at all. we were going to one of the descents then the main climb, up past the finish line and along to karragullen petrol station for a regroup.
the decent was short but nice and fast and ryan kicked it in once he hit the other side. michael w put in a big effort and they both gaped me, but michael realised that the hill was a little longer that he remembered so popped early as i crawled my way back up to ryans wheel.
the good thing is that ryan has no memory for the places that we have ridden previously so is continually asking how long the climbs are so he can gauge his effort. this at least meant that he wasn’t going full tilt and allowed me to stay with him to the top. heading towards the road course finish line, michael and stewart caught back up and the four of us pushed it the rest of the way to the servo.
karragullen is more of a locality than a town, with the primary feature being the servo. as such it is a popular meeting & refuelling spot. while we were there, at least five ute/4wd’s turned up towing trail and quad bikes. then about ten or so touring motobikes pulled in. with us there was three distinct groups. the young-ish redneck trail bike guys, the middle age crisis 1000cc touring bike guys/girls and us. the approaching middle age but still trying to hang onto our youth through fitness and looking “spectacular” in lycra.
as we were eating, drinking, toilet stopping etc, half the guys decided to get a head start and took off to the next regroup spot. once we got on the road, we started to chase and spat a couple of guys out the back of our group. unfortunately, jerard dropped his chain so i waited for him so he wasn’t left on his own. we worked together the rest of the way but couldn’t catch back up. at the regroup spot, the others had been caught, but had decided to take advantage and take off again to get a head start up to the observatory.
the observatory is pretty much the highest point around perth. there are two roads up it. the hard way and the easy way. we choose the easy way today as we had already climbed the kahuna. not long into the climb we could already spot our escapee’s up ahead. a concerted effort to blow myself up meant that we caught them before the top, but i had to let ryan and stew go ahead as my legs would not work any more.
for some reas
on i have developed into pushing a harder gear than i usually do and this may have a little (or a lot) to do with why i my quads are cramping so often. anyway, i decided to try to spin more on this hill and really concentrate on turning the full circle on the pedal rotation. it hurt and it is something i need to work on. i am thinking of having a crack at some velodrome training to help me out.
we regrouped at the top and this left only one more climb before the coffee shop. stew went on ahead as he was going to do extra kms rather than coffee. everyone else was pretty keen for a coffee.
the decent down from the observatory is one of the best parts of the ride. down on the drops in an aero tuck, rolling at +60km/h is a joy that makes the climbs worthwhile.
i managed to keep with ryan for the last climb right up till the end when he sprinted for the line. no legs left by then but happy with the efforts so far. my new years resolution has been to try to smash it as much as possible as i’m not getting any younger so my fitness is not going to maintain by just keeping the staus quo.
every sunday ride, regardless of the route, will always stop at kalamunda for coffee. i used to hate stopping, but have since seen the social benefits of coffee far out way the break during a ride. anyway, there are limited places open on a sunday and we tend to go to the paris-brest coffee shop. it sounds european and the wait staff are all female so generally we are happy there. service can be erratic sometimes depending on how busy they get, but today was pretty good, so no complaints. orders range from coffee’s to gatorade through to rich cakes, tarts and whatever dr melvyn had. still not sure, but it was about a foot long and filled with cheese and other things that may sit heavy when riding home. luckily this was not a problem.
refuelled, bottles filled and bellys filled-ish, we start the final drag up canning rd to lesmurdie rd. this is the only pain in the arse part of the ride as it is not a hard hill, but feels terrible after the legs sitting stagnant for 1/2 hour. once we hit lesmurdie rd though it is practically all down hill. welshpool rd hill can be fun if the cross winds aren’t howling through the cutting, and today was generally ok. not favourable for any land speed records as i only managed 75ish km/h and the faster boys only just cracked 80km/h. i few of the guys have hit 90km/h coming down there, but i tend to crap my pants at those speeds.
one last regroup at the bottom of the hill to make sure everyone got down safely and then we can all ride back to the shop together. as always, there is a couple of break-aways as we are on nice double lane roads, we have a bit of room to play with. dr melvyn featured again as he attacks and we always chase him even though we know he won’t get far.
one last kick coming back along berwick st just before the shop to make sure that we have totally shot our legs, then a bit of a catch up in the shade, to make sure we all know how good we are.
although, nobody noticed who was missing. dr melvyn had got a flat about 400m from the shop and had to walk his bike the last little bit.
a good ride all round. not a lot of waiting at hill tops so we made good time. didn’t leave anyone behind, which is another thing we try not to do.

one last social commentary.
summer time + bunnings hardware store + sunday morning = lots of hot looking chicks. it somehow makes all the pain worthwhile.

Sth Perth Sunday Ride 03 (Kahuna &amp Peet &amp Patterson)
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