ok, our new director of marketing (lorraine) has managed to score us four copies of the official tour de france guide from our good friends at ride media. as the tour starts this weekend, we need to give these away asap since you will need them for the tipping comp.
they have a bunch of articles on the contenders as well as profiles on each team and stage. valued at $13.95 each, anyone who has bought this previously will know that it is full of useful information.
so how do you win a copy???
what i need from you is a haiku based around the tour de france.
what is a haiku???
a haiku is an unrhymed 17 syllable poem of Japanese origin.
The structure is:
line 1 – 5 syllables
line 2 – 7 syllables
line 3 – 5 syllables
example.
competition starts
write me a good poem now
prizes you can win.
pretty basic, just three lines of text and you can score yourself a copy.
winners will be judged on how funny their entry is, so don’t make it too serious.
entry is via comments to this post, so make sure you don’t do an anonymous post or i can’t track you down.
36 thoughts on “tour de france offical guide competition”
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Well here is my attempt at a Haiku (Can not say I have ever tried writing a poem before (relied on charm and wit to land the ladies, ok, maybe a little muscle too :-)).
Now cycling has forced me to become cerebral.. Who would have thought.. OK here it is:
‘Cadel number one’
‘The rest of the world to chase’
‘Vive le Tour de France’
Ok I have read the rules a little more and realised the entry is meant to include some humour so here is entry number two (is there a limit?).
‘New house I now have’
‘Moneys too tight to mention’
‘Boss Pete give me Mag’
Ok, I am getting the hang of this..
‘I like to ride bike’
‘Just a simple man I am’
‘And the road is loooong’
my legs are hurting
after the cyclo sportif
hope they recover
i don’t stand a chance
of ever being like lance
not ever
not even if i rode
100 years
you cares? i’m always trying
even if when legs are dying
as i climb this hill
trying to keep my kids still
who’s loudest, lactate or lung
brain says quiet, heart strung
the pain will go, this believer
pass him, fellow sufferer
I have been advised by the boss that none of my entries cover all the required elements of.. Haiku, Tour de France and funny.
So hopefully my next entry ticks the required boxes:
‘3,500 kilometres 21 stages’
‘Ride it, Fcuk that, give me beer’
‘Widescreen, SBS, Control’
when i watch the tour
i wonder, could i be doing more?
guys like cadel, stu –
and robbie, don’t you
have a hobby? tv tired
late, now inspired.
you guys don’t really get it do you.
count the syllables, make it about the tour (not yourself), make it funny.
ryan the last one that you deleted was proabably you best one.
also 3,500 has 6 syllables straight away.
john, don’t give up your day job
Another for good measure.
‘Fields of sunflowers’
‘Shiny embrocated legs’
‘Watch it and feel it’
ok, my boss is getting suspicious so this is make or break…
if the i.c.u.
did not see me, sneak onto
the peloton back
i’d attack, and be
on the tv, famous at last
on the tour de france
3,500 is a number… No syllables.. 🙂
Ok, I will change it:
’21 Stages’
‘Ride it? Fcuk that! Give me beer.’
‘Widescreen Control’
I need to get some good ones in before cerebral Bonner gets in and puts me to shame (as he does in the hills as well).
‘The Tour is hardcore’
‘No nancy boys to be seen’
‘EPO to go’
liquigas secret weapon
human jet power
take highroad, escape slipstream
(okay, okay- so i’ve sunk to toilet humour…)
john, which part of three lines, 5/7/5 syllables do you not get???
however, since you two clowns are the only ones posting, you are winning so far.
i really hope someone good comes along and posts something better.
As Marketing Director (damn right I’m milking it!) I am ineligible but hey… we all have a poet within us!
Team “South Perth Rouleurs”
Why are they not in the Tour?….
Busy with haiku!
These two clowns should win (5)
even if they are rubbish (7)
that is what I think (5)
Not that hard really!!
Now for my entry
Tour Tip will LiquiStep
win for sure no doubt!
Ok Ok, forgot “humour” criteria…
what if people don’t get my “sense of”???
O’Grady stay up
for God sake don’t fall again
can’t win on your ass!
Race along out flat
But he and the dog went splat
That’s the end of that
A friend of mine (Kim) who is entering the competition has put one together and it is a pretty good one (damn him). He set up a user name in here and has forgotten it (does that make him ineligible? :-)).
‘Le tour come late nights’
‘Marriage, Work, Sex, take back seat’
‘Maillot jaune, Cadel’
Kim
ひらがな, 平仮名
カタカナ カタカナ字仮名
漢字仮名交じり文
Unless I am wrong, this is the translation of Jonny’s entry:
‘Hiragana and hiragana’
‘katakana katakana letter kana
‘Chinese character kana mixture sentence’
Hey Tommekke son
crazy party animal
no tour for you fool!
Hey woundup Robbie
why not chill out a little
it will be alright
if the a.s.o.
did not see me, sneak onto
the peloton back
i’d attack, and be
on the tv, arrested
bye from tour de france
three lines john.
three lines.
not six.
three lines.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Haikus are easy
but i’d rather be cycling
can’t wait for le tour
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
f!@k this haiku sh&%t
let’s watch le tour until late
sleepy early rides
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
first two lines
this years Tour de France
who will wear the Maillot Jaune
insert preference for line 3
..its anyone guess
..not cheating kazakh
..not cheating landis
..wont be rasmussen
..not young contador
..not levi leipheimer
..ex-mountain biker?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
haikus are easy
but sometimes they don’t make sense
refrigerator
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
😉
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
once you’re addicted
it’s hard to stop watching it
tour de france tv
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i bid you goodnight
yellow jerseys, tour de france
fill my dreamy head
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-good night!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
since i wont be here
to take my deserved prize
donate to next best
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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enjoy safe riding
may all your roads be car-less,
tyres puncture free
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P.S. i’m away until the 23rd July
Off on holiday?
Rain wind and dark skies are left.
Bon voyage maestro.
holidays it is
family snow beckons us
your words are too kind